Foolish Games
by KatFay
Summary: Narcissa ponders Lucius and the truth behind what she feels for him. One-shot, Character death, song-fic


**Disclaimer: I don't own Jewel's Foolish Games, the song listed, and I don't own Narcissa, Lucius or the other character's mentioned.

* * *

_You took your coat off and stood in the rain  
You were always crazy like that _ **

Narcissa Malfoy spun her long hair around her finger. She had always been blonde, something interesting considering her Black linage. It made fitting into the Malfoy family easier though. She remembered those hard years before Lucius' parents had died and they lived alone in the manor. She had hated them.

_  
I watched from my window  
Always felt I was outside looking in on you _

Those first years had been the hardest. It seemed liked Lucius acted with her one way and his parents another. She had loved him, and the things he said…they hurt her deeply. Back then she'd always wanted a child, something to take up her time, but Draco had come later.

_  
You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair  
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care  
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say  
Besides some comment on the weather _

"Narcissa." She spun to face her husband, though he was hardly hers. He looked worn, the side effect of those Death Eater's meetings. She wasn't one, contrary to common belief. She still had her pride. Before Bellatrix and Regulus, no Black had bowed down to a half-breed like this Lord of her husband. Sometimes she wondered if she should have.

_  
Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see  
This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees _

Narcissa laid her husband on the couch, muttering soothing words and casting healing spells right and left. It stung her to see him so hurt, though years had passed since she had last loved him. He ran his fingers through her blonde hair and Narcissa froze.

"You are upset with me." He whispered. He sounded kind, soft, warm. Narcissa didn't move then continued to heal him.

_  
These foolish games are tearing me apart  
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart  
You're breaking my heart _

"Narcissa, do you love me?" he asked. Narcissa summoned a washcloth and a bowl of cold water. It startled her how much her hands shook as she wet the cloth. She placed it on her husband's head.

"Narcissa, what is love?" Lucius asked. Narcissa looked at him.

"Love is pure." She said, and stood up.

_  
You were always brilliant in morning  
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee  
You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you  
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones _

Narcissa sat at the window seat across from Lucius. He was silent, but Narcissa was on the edge anyway. Had she angered him?

"I have a son," he said, "I love him. I know I love him, but how?" Narcissa moved to the piano, it seemed she couldn't keep still, that was in the room. She wanted to play a song, some tune she remembered from some Muggle girl back in school. As her fingers glided across the piano she wondered why.

_  
As I clumsily strummed my guitar  
You'd teach me of honest things  
Things that were daring, things that were clean  
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean  
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back _

"What are you playing Narcissa?" Lucius asked. Narcissa's hands froze.

"Does the music displease you?" she asked. Lucius was silent. Narcissa started up the song again. Years ago she'd gotten used to this, sitting in the room with no light except that which came from the rain. Curious how Lucius' worst days were when it rained. Rain, didn't the song have to do with rain?

_  
Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you  
Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else  
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself _

"You used to love me Narcissa, but you don't anymore. Perhaps it was never love that you felt." Lucius said, speaking once again. Narcissa continued playing silently. She pondered the words that Lucius spoke. Was it true that she had never loved her husband? She searched herself, but she felt no love.

_  
These foolish games are tearing me apart  
You're tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart  
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart  
You're breaking my heart _

"I don't love you Lucius." Narcissa said to the man's grave. There was no response except for the rain tittering.

"You knew that didn't you?" she asked, "You never said anything when I was younger. You thought I'd come to love you in time, but what I felt wouldn't last. I know now. But you loved me."

_  
You took off your coat and stood in the rain  
_

Narcissa spun her long hair around her finger. She had always been blonde, something interesting considering her Black linage. It made fitting into the Malfoy family easier though. She remembered those hard years before Lucius' parents had died and they lived alone in the manor. She had hated them. She hated him too.

She was filled with hate. Hatred for Lucius, hatred for his parents, hatred for her son. She smiled at the knife in front of her. In death, she would go to Lucius, but now, she wouldn't let him sway her. She let the strand of hair drop as she grabbed the knife. She drove it straight into her heart.

_You were always crazy like that_

Why had she remembered that song? Because of the Muggle girl had everything she didn't. Narcissa's last thoughts were on that song, whose name she'd finally remembered.


End file.
